Photo courtesy of Jamie Marie Photography
On the edge of a volcano
I have lived for many years.
I have tried to walk away
From broken pieces of the past,
But their edges tear my feet
Like shattered glass.
– Sheila Walsh
Last year I finally slipped off the edge of the volcano I’d been playing balance beam on for some time. I’m fine. I can do this. I have to do this. I have to keep going. More than once I took off into the forest and ran until I dropped. I longed to keep running and running until the pain inside eased. We all know running is not the answer but sometimes just the thought of facing the Darkness–and whatever it consists of–is unbearable.
Someday we all have to stop running. We have to stop wearing the happy face masks and the risk rejection of men for the sake of authentic relationships and the pleasure of God. The Psalmist did not hide his agony. Psalm 31 is one of my favorite chapters in all of Scripture. The honesty is beautiful.
I will rejoice and be glad in your steadfast love, because you have seen my affliction; you have known the distress of my soul, Be gracious to me, O LORD, for I am in distress; my eye is wasted from grief; my soul and my body also (Psalm 31:7, 9).
Darkness attacks every part of us, including our bodies and our souls. Nutrition, rest and exercise are vital and not to be neglected while wrestling through the spiritual issues. I know how it feels. When you are in the Darkness you often do not want to hear it. That is okay. We will ask you to listen anyway and we know that someday…you will.