“God Speaks Through Pain?” at Prodigal Magazine

This week meant forcing myself to apply an article I wrote, do a bit of art therapy while listening to songs I don’t know how to believe, and gutting it out because the emotional dizziness always gets better eventually.

This week meant catching my breath in the space made by support system and precious preschooler, feeling pride to keep my footing as well as I did, even if no one else could see how hard a battle I fought.

This week meant, ironically, “God Speaks Through Pain?” is over at Prodigal Magazine.

painIt’s midnight in the ER. I lie hooked up to heart monitors with one nurse drawing blood while another tries to place an IV. After months of regular IVs I should be used to the procedure, but I’m dehydrated. Five unsuccessful sticks later they go for the inside of my wrist on that pulsing blue vein. I nearly hit the ceiling….

I’m dancing with my grandfather at one of my brother’s weddings. I’m rarely happier or feel more alive than when dancing with a good partner, but tonight our subject matter is grim. He promises to help me figure out the confusing web of lawyers and divorce paperwork I’d just been hurled into. A sharp stab in my chest pushes out a few tears. I bite my lip until it bleeds. I will not cry about my divorce at my brother’s wedding.

How has God spoken through pain to you? What did it feel like?

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2 thoughts on ““God Speaks Through Pain?” at Prodigal Magazine

  1. Sometimes, much like a good friend, God simply IS when we are in pain; just kind of hangs out by our side…then we get to the ‘end of the story’ and see him back there…We were discussing faith with our 12 year old son the other night. He is just learning faith and learning critical thinking in school. So we hear a lot about supporting arguments and such, a language I wish I knew! But the point, the point, the point….I get distracted :) was this, he worries that his faith might not be strong enough or that he will somehow misplace and these words came to me, ‘Richie, your life will become the supporting argument of your faith, and the more it does the closer your experience comes to your faith until you will no longer be able to tell them apart; your faith will just BE part of you.’ And I think faith has colors, bright, shiny gold when it is brand new and as it lives and breaths the color changes with the seasons of our lives. I am so sorry you are ill. As a mom, for me, there is nothing worse than feeling helpless. Sounds like a long-term-been-dealing-with-it-awhile? Please be still and know…..there is an inherent richness in stillness and precious little of it in our world.
    What a blessing that you fell into my life :) Or did I trip and fall again??

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    • Thanks for the comment Cari. I’m not sick now; this was written awhile ago and written about a time even earlier than that. Both parts, the dancing and the ER, are just examples of times God has spoken to me through pain.

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